Imagine being trapped in a foreign land, your dreams shattered, your every move watched. This is the stark reality for thousands of Indian women, lured by the promise of a new life in Australia, only to find themselves caught in a devastating visa nightmare. Kiran's story, though anonymized, is a harrowing example of this growing crisis of 'abandoned brides'.
Kiran's husband, residing in Brisbane, Australia, maintained constant surveillance over her, even while she lived with her in-laws in a remote Indian village, over 10,000 kilometers away. "He would say: ‘I can always see what you do’,” she recounted, a chilling reminder of his control. Cameras, installed throughout their home in 2017 after the birth of their first child – in the kitchen, living room, and even outdoors – became instruments of constant monitoring.
Married in a traditional Sikh ceremony in Punjab two years prior, Kiran saw her husband only four times in eight years, each visit lasting a mere month. Hers is not an isolated case. Yasmin Khan, head of the Queensland-based Bangle Foundation, which supports South Asian women facing domestic abuse, describes how so many women are sold the illusion of migration and a fresh start, only to be plunged into a living nightmare. The Bangle Foundation provides critical support to these women, but their resources are stretched thin.
Women's rights advocates are increasingly using the term "abandoned brides" to describe these women, deserted by their Indian-born husbands who reside abroad in countries like the UK, Canada, and Australia. These men often leave their wives stranded after the wedding, leaving them in a state of legal and emotional limbo. But here's where it gets controversial... Some argue that cultural expectations and family pressures contribute to this problem, while others point to purely malicious intent on the part of the husbands.
The reasons behind these abandonments are varied and complex. Some are driven by financial gain, with husbands absconding with the dowry – a practice outlawed in India since 1961, yet still prevalent. Other instances involve husbands exploiting their wives as domestic servants for their in-laws in India, a situation advocates have likened to modern-day slavery. Think of it as a form of indentured servitude, masked by marital vows.
In some cases, the husband may genuinely intend to bring his wife overseas, but unforeseen visa complications prevent it. The Australian parliamentary record even contains documented cases of abandoned brides within Australia itself, highlighting the complexity of legal recourse for these women.
In Kiran's situation, her husband promised a life divided between India and Australia, culminating in permanent settlement Down Under to raise their family. However, upon her pregnancy, he declared he would "never let" her join him in Australia. "I came to realise this life was not for me. He had no interest in me. I had just been bought here to take care of others,” she explained, revealing the devastating realization of her true purpose in his eyes.
At the time of their wedding, Kiran, then only 22, knew little of her husband. His permanent residency in Australia, white-collar job, and teetotal lifestyle made him a desirable match in her family's eyes. However, just a month after the wedding, he returned to Australia for work, and subsequent visits were marred by escalating arguments and violence.
During long-distance calls from Brisbane, Kiran's husband dictated her domestic duties, insisting she follow his mother's orders in cooking and cleaning for her in-laws. "He would say I can see you on the camera – make sure what you cook is fresh for my parents,” she recalled, highlighting the constant surveillance and control.
By early 2022, Kiran's mental health deteriorated, prompting community elders in Punjab – an area sadly known as an epicenter of abandoned brides – to intervene and advocate for the family's reunification. This pressure led her husband to bring her and their children to Australia the following year. "At that time, I thought God has finally listened to my prayers and I will get to live with my husband, my children will have a father,” Kiran recounted, filled with hope.
However, upon arriving in Brisbane, she discovered a cruel deception. Her husband, who later initiated divorce proceedings, had brought her to Australia on a tourist visa, not a partner visa – which provides a pathway to permanent residency. This meant she had no legal right to remain in the country indefinitely, despite her children being Australian citizens. And this is the part most people miss: the deliberate manipulation of the visa system to maintain control over vulnerable women.
Khan, from the Bangle Foundation, who supported Kiran after the separation, emphasizes that the husband's surveillance and exploitation of her temporary visa status constituted coercive control, a common issue among their clients. The Bangle Foundation, reliant on state government support, grants, and donations, receives approximately 1,000 calls annually for help related to domestic abuse, visa abuse, and trafficking, with 60% of the calls originating from women interstate and abroad.
Khan also notes that fear of discussing cultural norms like arranged marriages can deter migrant and culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) women experiencing domestic abuse from seeking help from mainstream services. "They’re not going elsewhere because of issues of culture, tradition, shame, honour and embarrassment,” she explains, underscoring the complex cultural barriers these women face.
Kiran, still in visa limbo, is now fighting to remain in Australia with her two children, clinging to the hope that their presence can provide the happiness she sought from her husband. She is fighting not just for herself, but for her children's future.
*Name has been changed to protect her privacy.
If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out:
In Australia: National family violence counselling service: 1800 737 732.
In the UK: National domestic abuse helpline: 0808 2000 247, or visit Women’s Aid.
In the US: Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
For other international helplines: www.befrienders.org
What are your thoughts on the role of cultural expectations in these situations? Do you believe enough is being done to protect vulnerable migrant women? Share your perspective in the comments below.
